This is a work in progress. I am not sharing this blog idea with any family or friend except with the world that is unknown to me. I won’t have anyone to watch over me or help me in this process.
So I go back again to what I was loving adviced. This would be my guiding principle as I go through each day for the next one year.
I call them the dad says so rules.
Dad says, “calm down”. Dad says, Ask yourself “Is it my call”? Dad says “Have minimum acceptable standards”. Dad says, ” be more active”. Dad says, “look at what their eyes are saying”. Dad says, “convey through your eyes”. Dad says, “think about possible difficult situations and plan responses”. Dad says, “Be less emotional and don’t cry”.
I will also plan to write one post a day about a good or bad experience and what I did to contribute to becoming a nicer, calmer and happier me.
I recently saw the movie, Julie and Julia and fell in love with it. I could resonate with Julie on so many levels. And let me admit I can be easily influenced. So while I sat watching Julie take this oath of cooking up each and every dish in Julia Child’s book within a year I wondered to myself, what is my calling? What should I do that would lead me to discovery just as Julie did?
I love food, so I though oh I should pick an Indian chef and go through their book for a year. However I didnt go far with that idea.
Subconsciously mom and dad’s words have stuck with me since they’ve left. I have these sudden realisations that I am upto something wrong or something right. And today it so happened that I was upset over an anger outburst by a loved one but I managed to think about what to say and do about it while remembering dad’s words of wisdom.
At that moment I knew if I ever wanted to achieve what mom and dad truly felt I should, I must write my thoughts and what it takes to rediscover myself.
So here I am, after some minor distractions, trying to start my blog.
Still I’ve not justified why 365 days? Well cos Julia did it in the movie. And also because I do believe that for me to truly change and internalize the change, I need time. I will have days when I am down, when I am up, when I dont want to write, when I want to write a lot. So in these 365 days, I would have enough opportunity to ride out the wave and still come out clean.
I am 30, female and live with my husband. We are 2 of us, making it work in this new world ( sort of, since we’ve recently moved).
I have been living away from mom-dad for over 10 years now and have seen them a handful of times in these years gone by.
So when mom-dad come visiting for an extended period of time life changes. Literally. They expose me to a mirror that I’d stopped looking in. I was bluntly told one day, this is not how you used to be.
I just absorbed their warmth, love, and behavior for the period of time they were around me.
Now they are back in their own world, leaving me behind in mine. But their words stuck through and their behavior even more so. Its like my life has been re-exposed to people who are nice, happy and genuinely loved by others.
So I wonder, what will it take for me to be like my mom and dad? What do I give up, give in, change and internalize so I can truly be someone they can recognize?
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